Deb’s Dead Baby, Deb’s Dead

This looks nothing like my house

RIP My Knockoff Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

Deb was my knockoff robotic vacuum cleaner. She was fourth in a long list and she lasted about a year. Then suddenly, she stopped doing what she did so well. It started when she developed an obsession for the kitchen and no other room. Then she would immediately go to her beloved kitchen and beach herself on the cushioned rug in front of the oven. Soon after, she started to only turn left. Finally, she could only move about six inches from her dock where she would beep inconsolably for several minutes. Then she grew quiet and still. We knew it was time.

So I decided to get a new one. If you read my post from last week, Moving Past Procrastination, you know one of my writing avoidance strategies was poking around on Amazon. What I didn’t tell you though, is the miraculous sign that happened that day. I was annoyed about writing and I was annoyed that Deb decided to die.

But when I opened Amazon, what was right there? At the top of the page? Where I couldn’t miss it? (cue the horns) It was a robotic vacuum, ON SALE. And yes, it is another knockoff, but it was rated with four stars AND had a ton of reviews.

It was a sign and I took it as such. I didn’t waste time or think about consequences, or even trying to fix Deb. Instead, I bought Bob. And I love him.

We’ve had a long list of robot vacuums. In fact the first one was a Roomba, predictably named Rosie (think Jetsons) about fifteen years ago. Apparently back then I thought we had more money than we actually did because now, when I see the price of Roomba, I chuckle and scroll down to the cheap versions. Hence, Deb. And, now, Bob.

Bob - the best knockoff robotic vacuum
Meet Bob

Here is a picture of Bob and if you’d like to check him out, click on this link.

ILIFE V3s Pro Robotic Vacuum, Newer Version of V3s, Pet Hair Care, Powerful Suction Tangle-free, Slim Design, Auto Charge, Daily Planning, Good For Hard Floor and Low Pile Carpet – ILIFEV3spro

He isn’t on sale anymore but he’s still a good price.

And, no, the cheapos aren’t as good as the Roomba brand. They tend to do crazy things like Deb’s fixation with turning left whether or not there was a straight, flat surface with nothing in the way. So like Benton pointed out, no, Deb doesn’t contain the technology that Rosie had. Rosie grew from a long line of combat-proven, military grade robots. Can you imagine if one of those beasts kept turning left? Or getting stuck under the car?

Despite the unsavory amount of dog and cat hair in my house, Bob doesn’t have to disarm any bombs or wind his way through a combat area. He does the job laid before him. And so far, he’s doing it well. He hasn’t gotten stuck in any of the places Deb obsessed about. I haven’t found him wedged under the sink counters or dead on top of the padded rug in front of the oven.

Boy Cat hates my knockoff robotic vacuum
Boy Cat hating on Bob

In addition to his cleaning job, he also provides entertainment. The dogs and cats hate him. I mean really hate him. The dogs run from him. They have never liked the vacuums, but this is full on scramble, try to get traction on the wood floors and fall down a few times before you wipe out again going around the corner only to stumble down the stairs, panic. The girl cat hides around a corner and waits till Bob comes by. Then she hisses and smacks him as he passes and even chases him a little, swatting at him the whole time for good measure. The boy cat sits on top of the back of the chair and glares at him, tail all puffy and twitching. They’ve never reacted this way to any of the others. In fact, they have mostly been rather ambivalent about the others.

I guess there’s just something about my new knockoff robotic vacuum cleaner. I guess there’s just something about Bob.

This site contains affiliate links to products I love and use. I may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

And as long as I’m disclosing stuff, you should know the photo at the top of this post in no way represents what my home looks like now or ever. It’s a stock photo. And Deb would have loved turning left in a room like that.

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