I made a commitment to myself to post at least once a week and up until today, it’s gone pretty well. But I’ve hit a snag.
Last night I had terrible dreams. Sometimes I have nightmares that stem from worry about my children. Last night was about my oldest daughter and I woke uncertain if it was a dream or was real. It took a few seconds to clear my mind and calm my heart and breathing. The sheets were soaked with sweat…again.
So now I’m faced with my deadline and I’m struggling to write. I’m distracted and out of sorts. I kind of just want to cry or watch TV, or just stare into the abyss. My fuzzy blanket and the couch are calling.
I know it’s my own fault because I do procrastinate regularly. But that works for me because writing under pressure or to a deadline is usually a good motivator. Except for today. My head just isn’t in it.
I can’t silence the little voice reminding me that I’m the one who set the deadline so who is there to enforce it?
So far today I’ve cleaned the house, played with the cats, poked around on Amazon, and scrolled through twitter. But then I finally silenced that little voice. It overplayed it’s hand when it suggested I exercise. And for about a second, I seriously considered it. I knew my procrastination had reached a serious level. So I sat down and asked myself, “Is exercise really what I want to do right now? Am I serious about writing or just playing around? Would I skip my day job because of a bad dream? Would I skip my day job to clean or exercise?”
No, I wouldn’t. And this is important to me. So here I am.
On the upside, my twitter procrastination led me to some helpful advice. I’ve found a small group of writers whom I love to follow. They are funny, profound, informative and, eerily in touch with where I am emotionally at any given time. I generally come away from scrolling through my writers list inspired, exited and motivated.
And today didn’t disappoint. One of the writers I follow posted this from a guest author https://laurasbooksandblogs.com/writing-through-chaos/#comment-4 and it made all the difference to me today.
I’ll let you click over to read the post for yourself. But her topic was dead on. Writing through chaos is something all writers must do at times and putting it into perspective, getting a handle on it all, is crazy hard. But Bibiana Krall gets it and laurasbooksandblogs.com gets it. And I am grateful that they shared it.
I have no profound words of wisdom today. I have no good advice to deliver. Instead, I was the receiver of the wisdom and it was nice. I guess we don’t always have to be in charge. We don’t always have to be the ones who direct and control everything. We don’t always have to have the answers.
It’s refreshing to just absorb encouragement and nourishment from others. But that means acknowledging that you need it, seeking and then accepting it. It’s not weakness, it’s self preservation.
So! No SEO strategy with this post. No affiliate links or witty comments. No snark or humor. Just a reminder to us all to be kind to yourself. Seek help when you need it. Remember some days are just tougher than others. And whatever you do – don’t stop doing what you do. It’s important.